"Ich Will", my theme song.

     I would have to say that, if I had a theme song, it would be "Ich Will", by Rammstein.
     Rammstein's style of music, known as Neue Deutsche Härte - new German hardness, isn't popular past them. And it's not recognized by many. And it's hard to think that a band that writes songs about the underbelly of life, from necrophilia to cannibalism, would write a song that hits home for someone.
     So, why is "Ich Will" my theme song? Well, to me, it's about many things. There's the inherent need that anyone has to be heard and validated. There's the desire to make a deep impact on the world around you; and sometimes that need can almost be self-sacrificing. And there's a need, that should be inherent in everyone, to unleash one's own inner messiah.

Ich will
Ich will dass ihr mir vertraut
Ich will dass ihr mir glaubt
Ich will eure Blicke spüren
Ich will jeden Herzschlag kontrollieren

Ich will eure Stimmen hören
Ich will die Ruhe stören
Ich will dass ihr mich gut seht
Ich will dass ihr mich versteht

Ich will eure Phantasie
Ich will eure Energie
Ich will eure Hände sehen
Ich will in Beifall untergehen

Seht ihr mich?
Versteht ihr mich?
Fühlt ihr mich?
Hört ihr mich?
Könnt ihr mich hören?
Wir hören dich
Könnt ihr mich sehen?
Wir sehen dich
Könnt ihr mich fühlen?
Wir fühlen dich
Ich versteh euch nicht

Ich will

Wir wollen dass ihr uns vertraut
Wir wollen dass ihr uns alles glaubt
Wir wollen eure Hände sehen
Wir wollen in Beifall untergehen - ja

Könnt ihr mich hören?
Wir hören dich 
Könnt ihr mich sehen?
Wir sehen dich 
Könnt ihr mich fühlen?
Wir fühlen dich 
Ich versteh euch nicht

Könnt ihr uns hören?
Wir hören euch
Könnt ihr uns sehen?
Wir sehen euch
Könnt ihr uns fühlen?
Wir fühlen euch
Wir verstehen euch nicht

Ich will

Unofficial Translation ©2003 Jeremy Williams.

I want you to trust me
I want you to believe me
I want to feel your eyes
I want to control every heartbeat

I want to hear your voices
I want to disturb the peace
I want you to see me well
I want you to understand me

I want your fantasy
I want your energy
I want to see your hands
I want to go down in applause

Do you see me?
Do you understand me?
Do you feel me?
Do you hear me?
Can you hear me?
We hear you
Can you see me?
We see you
Can you feel me?
We feel you
I don't understand you

I want

We want you to trust us
We want you to believe everything from us
We want to see your hands
We want to go down in applause - yeah

Can you hear me?
We hear you
Can you see me?
We see you
Can you feel me?
We feel you
I don't understand you

Can you hear us?
We hear you
Can you see us?
We see you
Can you feel us?
We feel you
We don't understand you

I want

Mining rap.

     As I've said before, I find myself having to dig deeper and deeper past the mainstream to find anything good in the world of music over the past decade and a half. This includes rap.
     I liked watching Chappelle's Show when it was on. Yes, there were a lot of silly sketches, but one thing I loved about it was his musical guests. He always brought on rappers who were really good alternatives to the auto-tuned, catchphrase-spewing mainstream.
     Lately, thanks to Chappelle, I've been looking around for various artists who shred with the mic. Also, I've had a lot of help with an article about the vocabulary of modern artists. So, I started with Aesop Rock, Killer Mike, Talib Kweli, and Common.
     I'm really happy that there are people out there who don't want to listen to what sounds like drowning robots. It's one thing to use electronics for artistic effect (like when aggrotech artists often do it), but when they try to pass it off as their own voice, it's bullshit.

Musical thoughts.

     As my iPod fills up with more and more of my choice of music, I've come to realize something. For the past fifteen years or so, I feel like I have almost totally stopped listening to mainstream music. My musical growth has taken the form of composers and artists that are centuries-old, underground, or overseas. I guess I feel like I grew jaded with mainstream music too early. Most people are into mainstream music until they're in their late twenties, not 23/24.
     There's a joke I like to say. "I love music the way I love America. You have to poke and prod to find what's good and worth holding onto. Why? Because corporate assholes have been ruining it." The reason for this is target marketing. Record companies hire researches to find what's edgy, but safe. Back when mass media started, this was understandable. Cameras and recording equipment were expensive, so to maximize their use, producers chased what was the "latest" thing that "the kids" were into.
     Craig Ferguson said it best: In catering and glorifying "youth culture" they sought to embrace the vitality, energy, and fun of youth. But the problem is that they also ended up embracing the materialism and inexperience of youth.
     Now that that equipment is less expensive, and people can make an album from their basement, there's no reason that millions of people should be listening to the exact same three types of music: modern "country" (AKA tractorpop), "hip-hop" (AKA crap-hop), and that crap that passes for edgy alt-rock. This is the information age. If one person likes something, there's no reason it shouldn't spread to that person's friends like wild fire. As the internet is supposed to act as the megaphone for the word of mouth, tastes would diversify more.
     Still, in the 21st Century, Madison Avenue is still hoarding that "youth dollar". Through search engine optimization and paying for ads that appear in the corners of sites, they've made the internet work for them. In addition, instead of chasing what was the "latest" thing that "the kids" are into, they systematically create what "the kids" will be into.
     In the sea of music the shell of mainstream ice has gotten thicker. I think I just wish that everyone else had the desire to drill as much as I do. Even if they don't find the things I do, it'd be nice to hear what others would find when they drill.

Laibach: Martial industrial prophets.

    I have been infatuated with Laibach for a long time. I'd say since I discovered internet radio when I first moved to SW Indiana. I got deeper into industrial and gothic styles. On the industrial side, I got into martial indistrial, such as Sophia, Laibach, and Der Blutharsch.

     My enjoyment of martial industrial probably stems from my enjoyment of the Dadists' use of totalitarian kitsch to mock the current political zeitgeist. Laibach and their art collective, the NSK State, are notorious for this.
     As a political junkie this appeals to me, which is why I did an informative essay on Laibach for my English 102 class a few years ago. Laibach's stage performances look like political rallies for some run-of-the-mill dictatorship, with non-descript soldier uniforms and big, scary banners. Some of their music takes the form of covers of pop songs that sound like rolling military marches. Most other songs have that quality of holding a haunting, disturbing mirror to society, but still with that barking march sound.
     Their lyrics are visceral and brutal, but they are honest. They, at times, can provide profound anthems for current events.

     The song "Now You Will Pay" is a perfect example of the mirror effect. When it was first written, it was about Western Europe's fear of Eastern European immigrants. Now, in light of the Syrian refugee crisis, and the blanket statements of Islamophobes, this song is the perfect fun-house magnifying glass that illustrates the West's xenophobia. I copied and pasted because looking for lyrics on a good site is a pain in the ass anymore.

barbarians are coming crawling from the east, (with their) eyes wide shut and nostrils full of longing, epic and powerful, wild in a group, barbarians are coming from the east. they'll come out of nowhere, they'll enter your state, the nation of losers, the tribe full of hate. with knives in their pockets and bombs in their hands, they'll burn down your cities and your disneylands.

(Chorus:) barbarians are coming, heading your way. the evil is rising, kneel down and pray. with third world hunger, sex drive in their brains, they'll whisper your names and scream in your face. when they search for their space, they'll turn into snakes, and you're better off dead if they crawl in your bed.

(Repeat chorus) they'll conquer your country

and make you all slaves, they'll burn down your houses and rave at your graves.
you'd better get ready,
you'd better beware. banging at your windows, barbarians are here

When I first heard "The Great Divide," also from the album WAT, I immediately knew it was about religious extremism. I recently read the lyrics, and came to understand that it wasn't just about Islam, but more about how the world still clings to Bronze and Iron Age beliefs with tribal fervor, even though we're entering a new century; and our rising technology equally brings us together and tears us apart.

THE RISING OF THE CENTURY
DID NOT BRING CATHARSIS
THE RISING OF THE CENTURY
DID NOT BRING SALVATION
THE CRACK IS GETTING DEEPER
THE FLAMES ARE BURNING HIGHER
LOST AND HUNTED REFUGEES
ARE CHANTING IN THE CIRCLE
THE PREDATORS OF THE GREAT DIVIDE
ARE CUTTING THEIR THROATS
SLICING THEIR GUTS
AND DRINKING THEIR BLOOD
THIS WORLD WAS ALWAYS FERTILE
AT THE ROOT OF OUR TONGUES
OUR TONGUES WERE ALWAYS CUT
AT THE ROOT OF OUR WORDS
WE HAVE REACHED THE GOOD AND EVIL
AND WE DIDN'T SPEAK MUCH
BLOODY SOIL - FERTILE LAND
BLOODY SOIL - FERTILE LAND
BUT THEN WE HAD TO LEAVE
TO GO FURTHER
THROUGH BLISTERING HEAT
CHASING DEATH
ERASING DISTANCE
DEVOURING TIME WITH
INFINITE GREED
NOW WE ARE HERE
SENSITIVE TO SHADOWS
SPEAKING TO THE DEAD
AND BURNING ALIVE
IN OUR RITUAL SONGS
THE SKY IS SET ALIGHT AS THOUGH THE STARS
WERE AT WAR
THE DESERT IS BURNING
WITH COLD FLAMES
WHITE ASTRONAUTS
ARE REFLECTED ON THE SURFACE
GOLDEN MOUNTAINS
ARE SHINING IN THE DISTANCE
THIS IS THE BLACK CIRCLE
AND THIS THE BLACK CROSS
THIS IS THE DARK FUNERAL AT MIDNIGHT
A BLOODY HORIZON
HAS CONSUMED THE SUN
IN THE MACHINE
2000 AND ONE